I return once again to this little blog space of mine! Thank you to everyone who has liked my posts and followed me since I was away. Honestly, I’ve been quite busy. No surprises there haha! Hope you’re all doing well!
This topic of “fake people” is something i’d like to address and things I realised people do when they “pretend” to be my friend. Sorry for the full on topic, but if it helps someone out there struggling with the same issue, its worth talking about and posting.
This year I’m in senior year meaning (yay) exams and the inevitable worry of your results and getting offers to go to university next year. I’ve managed to pass that worry by talking to others whom I trust a lot. Also, this year has provided me a bunch of issues that now I just noticed regarding my friends and people who I hang around with.
It’s no brainer that if somebody such as your friend makes you feel bad or provoke any negative feelings you should probably talk to them about it or even drift away. I learnt this the hard way. Since I was growing up, I always looked to others to validate my worth as a person and my happiness. I would always buy them stuff or even help them with anything because I wanted to be the “best friend” even though they were clearly using me and were pretending to be my friends. Year after year I would find myself crying over the broken friendships because I’d always have a close attachment and take it all too seriously (can you blame me?) I’d become desperate to have a best friend as I saw peers in my school hanging around with their friendship groups. It sort of made me feel left out and felt pressured to always be around someone.
This year, many friendships changed whether its me moving away from a person or them moving away from me and cutting me off. That’s a whole different story but my main focus is on three particular people. I, of course won’t mention names for the sake of privacy but lets call them person 1, 2, 3… you get the drift. The drama between person 1 is that she’s not putting any effort in our friendship. Or how I see it she’s putting minimal to no effort at all. I just felt like a replacement or someone you could turn to when all your other friends have gone or elsewhere. That made me feel shitty and not until this week I realised she wasn’t my true friend as she made me feel crap for more than one occasion. I’m a kind and helpful person so of course I helped her a lot with school, advice, etc. So basically I’m done with her bullcrap. I’m just so happy I managed to move on from this toxic friendship. (And yes I did talk to her about my feelings but she didn’t really do anything but sugarcoat her words and say everything is going to be fine when she knows it’s not)
Person 2 is a person who is beyond fake I cannot explain it. You might encounter these type of people in your life unfortunately. She used to be my bestie in grade 2 (and yes no surprise she left but I can’t really remember why, because my memory is pretty hazy). She says she’s friends and talks to me only when there is no one better or even more interesting than me around. She’d leave and go after the popular group in every class I’m in. She’s wants to gain popularity and all and I really don’t get it. She also pretends to be supportive about some things like marriage equality when clearly she’s against it. I don’t understand peoples necessary need to voice out their opinion as if it is the only one and take it out on people to the point where its even hurting them mentally. We do talk but I try to keep it to a minimal because honestly I’m done hanging around the wrong people.
Third and last person that I will be talking about is person 3. He is pretty flamboyant but also makes jokes about me which I know are jokes but still hurt me. Jokes that usually degrade a person but its like sarcasm and picking??? I don’t know how to explain it but yeah. He’s a user also and a lot like person 2. Person 2 and 3 are like magnets when they around each other they like to hang around and gossip etc. Yes, leaving me as if I don’t exist or was in a conversation with them 3 minutes ago. Not much can be said about this person besides that he does have problems but take it out on people and the one thing I’m envious is that he’s very smart. (haha)
These are the people, this year that made me feel in away bad to hang out with them or be their friend. As soon I decide to cut ties or drift myself further away from them, I immediately noticed the change of my mind. Like I was free or something. Anyways, I’m glad to say I can stand up with my own two feet and don’t need to get my happiness and validation from people who don’t even care or “fake people”. It’s better to be alone than being surrounded with people who don’t care.
To those who are experiencing this or might feel like its something they’ve been through. I understand its very tough and something you must come in terms with whether you like it or not. Coming from me who has been left behind numerous of times, it makes you stronger and you learn from pain and mistakes to find a better friend who will treat you right and make you feel happy and joyful every time you meet. I am still looking for this friend but I feel like I’ve met them already 🙂
I hope you all like this little ramble/article of mine.
Thanks for reading!