fake people

I return once again to this little blog space of mine!ย Thank you to everyone who has liked my posts and followed me since I was away. Honestly, I’ve been quite busy. No surprises there haha! Hope you’re all doing well!

This topic of “fake people” is something i’d like to address and things I realised people do when they “pretend” to be my friend. Sorry for the full on topic, but if it helps someone out there struggling with the same issue, its worth talking about and posting.

This year I’m in senior year meaning (yay) exams and the inevitable worry of your results and getting offers to go to university next year. I’ve managed to pass that worry by talking to others whom I trust a lot. Also, this year has provided me a bunch of issues that now I just noticed regarding my friends and people who I hang around with.

It’s no brainer that if somebody such as your friend makes you feel bad or provoke any negative feelings you should probably talk to them about it or even drift away. I learnt this the hard way. ย Since I was growing up, I always looked to others to validate my worth as a person and my happiness. I would always buy them stuff or even help them with anything because I wanted to be the “best friend” even though they were clearly using me and were pretending to be my friends. Year after year I would find myself crying over the broken friendships because I’d always have a close attachment and take it all too seriously (can you blame me?) I’d become desperate to have a best friend as I saw peers in my school hanging around with their friendship groups. It sort of made me feel left out and felt pressured to always be around someone.

This year, many friendships changed whether its me moving away from a person or them moving away from me and cutting me off. That’s a whole different story but my main focus is on three particular people. I, of course won’t mention names for the sake of privacy but lets call them person 1, 2, 3… you get the drift. The drama between person 1 is that she’s not putting any effort in our friendship. Or how I see it she’s putting minimal to no effort at all. I just felt like a replacement or someone you could turn to when all your other friends have gone or elsewhere. That made me feel shitty and not until this week I realised she wasn’t my true friend as she made me feel crap for more than one occasion. I’m a kind and helpful person so of course I helped her a lot with school, advice, etc. So basically I’m done with her bullcrap. I’m just so happy I managed to move on from this toxic friendship. (And yes I did talk to her about my feelings but she didn’t really do anything but sugarcoat her words and say everything is going to be fine when she knows it’s not)

Person 2 is a person who is beyond fake I cannot explain it. You might encounter these type of people in your life unfortunately. She used to be my bestie in grade 2 (and yes no surprise she left but I can’t really remember why, because my memory is pretty hazy). She says she’s friends and talks to me only when there is no one better or even more interesting than me around. She’d leave and go after the popular group in every class I’m in. She’s wants to gain popularity and all and I really don’t get it. She also pretends to be supportive about some things like marriage equality when clearly she’s against it. I don’t understand peoples necessary need to voice out their opinion as if it is the only one and take it out on people to the point where its even hurting them mentally. We do talk but I try to keep it to a minimal because honestly I’m done hanging around the wrong people.

Third and last person that I will be talking about is person 3. He is pretty flamboyant but also makes jokes about me which I know are jokes but still hurt me. Jokes that usually degrade a person but its like sarcasm and picking??? I don’t know how to explain it but yeah. He’s a user also and a lot like person 2. Person 2 and 3 are like magnets when they around each other they like to hang around and gossip etc. Yes, leaving me as if I don’t exist or was in a conversation with them 3 minutes ago. Not much can be said about this person besides that he does have problems but take it out on people and the one thing I’m envious is that he’s very smart. (haha)

These are the people, this year that made me feel in away bad to hang out with them or be their friend. As soon I decide to cut ties or drift myself further away from them, I immediately noticed the change of my mind. Like I was free or something. Anyways, I’m glad to say I can stand up with my own two feet and don’t need to get my happiness and validation from people who don’t even care or “fake people”. It’s better to be alone than being surrounded with people who don’t care.

To those who are experiencing this or might feel like its something they’ve been through. I understand its very tough and something you must come in terms with whether you like it or not. Coming from me who has been left behind numerous of times, it makes you stronger and you learn from pain and mistakes to find a better friend who will treat you right and make you feel happy and joyful every time you meet. I am still looking for this friend but I feel like I’ve met them already ๐Ÿ™‚

I hope you all like this little ramble/article of mine.

Thanks for reading!

Chloe.

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recent thoughts

I’m going to try my best to post daily here on this blog. I feel as if I haven’t given this blog enough love or attention due to my very so busy life and many commitments. Yes, this is another post update without any pictures (sorry, I’m not sure what pictures to put in but if you guys have any suggestions please comment or message away!)

As I write this little post sitting on my desk chair I’ve have taken the best relaxing shower after a friends party. Yes, I am feeling all tingly and warm and it’s one of the best feelings ever. I decided to write another post which is dedicated to all those little thoughts in my head, current emotions and all the other stuff that I would like to share on this secret tiny blog of mine.

Has anyone have those annoying small thoughts that bug you but won’t go away? Sometimes I experience them and they are so irritating its doing my head in. Does anyone know how to deal with this? Advice would be appreciated.

Thats one minor thing down but another thing I would like to post about is inspirations. Recently I’ve been feeling inspired to craft more, be nicer and just be generally positive about life (although I must admit, It’s hard sometimes. Cutiepiemarzia (my idol ) had inspired me to create this very blog (thank you) One day I hope she notices me believe it or not. I’ll leave a link to her blog here. Her drawings are super cute and I love her style (super cute and amazing) Watching people blog and vlog their lives is interesting. It kinda makes you think about yours and what you can do to influence another human being.

Talking about style, I’m one of those people who loves plants and vintage fashion. Yes I’m that type of gal. I’m also antisocial which doesn’t come to surprise to you (hopefully) I prefer talking to animals over people and like reading instead of socialising. Yep sad life but its worth it.

Oh. my. gosh. Suddenly an idea sprung to mind as I type this. I will show you guys (on my next post) things that I’m currently loving (yes there will be photos involved) A few of these things are birthday gifts and I hope you’ll like that upcoming post because I sure will.

Well I think thats all I have to say now. If you read this all, wow well done. Thanks for giving me a chance hahaha. Please feel free to leave a comment or message me (if there is a message platform here I’m not sure???)

Until next time,

Chloe.

plants and nature make me happy

Even from a young age, visiting parks and feeding ducks was my go to hobby. Before the need of technology occurred in me I found that nature and its wonders were my obsessions. My parents can recall me picking up dried up leaves during autumn in the city (yes they were dirty and they continuously told me to put it back which I reluctantly did)

I apologise for my previous blogpost. It wasn’t the best rant and it was very emotional indeed. I just needed some place to rant my emotions because I find bottling it up won’t help or do any good but mostly heighten the pain. Yes finding valuable friends is hard and going through tough breakups (the friendship kind ha. I’m a single pringle forever) makes you stronger and more wiser, although the terrible set of mind it puts you through.

By looking at nature and plants it calms me and just grounds me back to reality (as cheesy that sounds) Recently I’ve been getting back to writing in my personal diary which one day I hope becomes a special relic. That would be really cool! Like in 2100 or something they might dig it up and sit down to read my pathetic entries filled with emotion and drama haha! Sorry, I’ve been watching too many treasure hunt videos on Youtube. I must admit, those videos are addicting. Speaking about watching stuff, I’ve binged watched the whole season of 13 reasons why. A beautiful and tragically realistic take on teenage life and high school. (although all tv shows and movies are overdramatic)

Sorta went off topic on this post, oh well.

I still hope you enjoy reading my random thoughts and posts about my life so far in this little cute quiet blog.

Signing out,

Chloe.

Feeling crappy.

Okay, I would like to share some thoughts with the small online blog hoping that neither any of my friends will stumble upon this.

Yes. I’m having drama with my friends. Like pretty bad drama to the point I’m moving away from them because I don’t feel included or loved and even ignored. It’s alright because I’m used to it. She wasn’t a true friend and never will be. I thought this was theย one friendship that would last, however, I thought wrong. I feel so useless, unimportant and I’m just laughing about it. I apologise if i sound crappy or anything like that but its just its hard to keep it in without crying constantly. She doesn’t care at all. I’m like second best and I won’t accept this at all.

This is unfair if I put 100% in the friendship where she puts like less than 50%.

That’s it. I’m done.

Chloe.

It has been awhile.

I’m terribly sorry for neglecting my blog.

I’m so busy I have not time for myself to write at all. Senior year is hard and can be distracting from the things I like to do, like to write.

However a few things have been a delight during my absence on this blog which I am more than happy to share with you guys.

I discovered this Australian magazine through one of my best friends from school. It’s called frankie and its 100% my aesthetic. Here is the website. There is cool bits and bobs and its very entertaining (visually haha) Please reply down in the comments on what you think ๐Ÿ™‚ Now I’m dedicated in collecting all the issues! Recently the website had a issue sale resulting in almost all of the old issues being sold out ๐Ÿ˜ฆ So far I have 3 issues of frankie sitting on my bookshelf. The covers are also often pretty and nice to look at, like everything from the site.

Reese chocolate peanut butter cups is the second best thing that I ever tasted this year (behind Cha time Guava Grapefruit frozen drink) Its a classic American chocolate snack that I wished I discovered earlier. (trying to eat in portions haha)

Recently I’ve visited my love for nature. I started to draw botanical drawings of plants and several insects like bees. Nature is beautiful and something we all take for granted. Posting my art on this blog is something I’m leaning towards. Planning on making a drawing scrapbook. The materials I use are copic markers, art paper and gel pens plus the most important tools; the eraser and pencil.

Feeling terribly sorry for neglecting the blog. So busy this year. Maybe next year I’ll post more frequently due to graduating from school ๐Ÿ™‚

Chloe.

Starting the year right.

Hello blogger friends,

It’s a new year and it means there are some habits to change and keep. Personally last year was terrible and just a really crappy year in my life. Thankfully I’ve managed to move past that and learn from my mistakes.ย This is the my final year in high school and it seems daunting and exciting. I’ve planned out what I want to do this year and what I want to achieve. Although I know there would be a lot of setbacks coming my way.

Today I attended a seminar that my school held outside of campus. It was a long 12 hour seminar from morning to night. It covered several things about stress of final exams and how to look after yourself. It was all fun but I was so tired from the lack of sleep from the night before.

I’ll set a goal to always update my blog on WordPress. If not daily, weekly or even monthly if things get really busy. However I’m sure to update once I finished school and well of in early years of University/College (For you Americans ๐Ÿ™‚ ) I’m more than happy to document my thoughts and feelings and maybe talk to you guys ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m a huge photography fan. (Does that make sense? Ha. ) I love images and beautiful photos that capture the beauty of the time and place. So if you are new here, welcome. You probably know me (ish) because I tried so hard to get Marzia to notice me. (She still hasn’t *sad face*)

Unfortunately I’ll have to go but I haven’t forgotten my teeny blog! Hope you enjoy your stay and feel free to drop in a message or comment ๐Ÿ™‚

Thanks,

Chloe.

(Note: Although I was super excited to show open my shop in Depop I couldn’t because of some difficulties. Sorry!)

Daily Thoughts

Today was a cold and windy day which arrived after a beautiful hot day yesterday. However just as a promised I provided a photo of my new journal/diary where I write my deepest darkest secrets. Haha, I was just kidding. I just wrote entries of my day and emptying my thoughts onto this slab of paper.

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It looks so old but really it’s not

This week was eventful but nothing worth mentioning happened. Just got some thoughts thinking what if that or this happened. I started daydreaming about being internet famous or just travelling the world to my favourite countries. Living in the worlds most liveable city, I’m super grateful. I would still like to explore the world and the wonders of the world. How cool would that be?

This upcoming week will be hectic busy. I would be studying for exams and preparing to open a shop where I can sell my clothes or any random things ๐Ÿ™‚ (They need a home guys!) Also, this week is performance week for my band at school ๐Ÿ™‚ Super duper excited! I’m on the keyboard and I practice heaps for it! It’s also my mothers birthday tomorrow so haha a family celebration will be taking place soon.

Again, the issue of friendships has been arising for me. Its like I have these thoughts that I am spending such a good time with them and so that my brain says all random negative crap about not having true friends or these friends will just leave you in the end. (Best to ignore this thoughts but make sure you realise having negative thoughts is normal!) Hoping the best to come to all of you! And if you followed me thank you so much! ๐Ÿ™‚

Hope you like my blog and posts!

Chloe.